In response to the outrage triggered by the Transportation Safety Administration's new enhanced security inspections, the Tea Party of America has called for the following changes to the procedures:
1. White people go through security unchallenged. (Exceptions may be made for young white males wearing tee shirts with Timothy McVeigh's likeness or name on them.)
2. Brown people or people speaking any foreign language (and that includes Spanish) will undergo the current level of screening, be required to show a green card and answer correctly five questions about the American Constitution.
3. Anyone dressing as an Arab, looking like an Arab, or having Hussein as any part of their names will be taken into a small ...