Recently I was having lunch at the Club Homs on the Avenida Paulista in Sao Paulo; its the Champs Elysees and Fifth Avenue of Brazil. For the unannointed, the Club Homs is the preferred gathering place for old-line Brazilians of Syrian origin who emigrated during the collapse of the Ottoman Empire. Names on the Club Homs “founders wall” would strike a chord with those tuned in to “Arab-American” relations. Issa, Rahal, Zagby, Safra, Halaby, Shalala. But these people are Brazilian, not “Arab-Americans” and their cultural and political orientation reflects that. Old timers made their entrance nodding and offering the traditional “salaam alekkim…” Most of these folks were Syrian (Eastern) Orthodox, or Maronite Christians. Reminded me of Christmas season at the Harmonie Club in Manhattan where the old school American-German Jews would say the traditional “froeliche Weihnacht!” (merry Christmas) at the cloakroom prior to heading up for lunch. So when people nodded at me, I said “salaam alekkim” to them too, then went back to eating lunch.

As a Jew, it didn’t bother me to say a few words in pidgin Arabic. After all, Maimonedes, the great doctor and religious scholar, lived in Egypt, and wrote in Arabic (and Greek). But I asked myself what if Barack Obama had visited a place like this, and a soundbite of him saying “salaam alekkim” got loose? Where would the media take it? Where would those who oppose Obama incent the media to take it?

In Brazil, where everyone is “Brazilian” and there is no political correctness other than what Americanophiles import, it wouldn’t matter whether Obama said “burger and fries” or “salaam alekkim” or “shalom alechim.” But in the US the slightest cultural miscue and the media slams it over the Green Monster in Fenway. You see a lot of photos of Joe Lieberman wearing a Yarmulke. But have you seen any of Barack? What kind of base would an image of Barack wearing a yarmulke energize?

Jimmy Carter took a lot of heat from liberal dems when he visited the “Confederado” colonies in Sao Paulo state in Brazil, founded by slaveholding families who fled the Stars and Bars. The best Carter, a micromanager, could do, was one term. So much for the pyrhhic victory of Watergate. This campaign- for a presidency that has actually devolved in power- has gone on way too long and is filling a “news hole” that should be occupied with issues of greater substance than the fodder being bandied about. The polls show the candidates almost neck and neck (with the usual 5 point margin of error) and that means cultural warfare will define what the winning campaign is all about. Barack Obama might know who he is and what he wants. But I suspect the Americans he hopes will put him in office don’t have a clue what “Big America” moving forward is all about. The fault lies not in the stars, Barack… but in ourselves. Too bad this election is not “Brazilian rules.”